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August 2004
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March 2005
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February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
Sunday, May 15, 2005
:: date with dada ::
ok so i cant forget him.
i admit. im weak when it comes to him.
so we went out... just like old times, shopping, and making jokes and all
it was the sweetest, most perfect, most memorable date ever..
i love him. dats a fact. im sorry abt his gf. but.. good man are hard to find.
so. too bad.
took some pictures.
i admit. im weak when it comes to him.
so we went out... just like old times, shopping, and making jokes and all
it was the sweetest, most perfect, most memorable date ever..
i love him. dats a fact. im sorry abt his gf. but.. good man are hard to find.
so. too bad.
took some pictures.
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Peeved
hey hey hey~
just got back frm taking my exams. it was stupid. had my physics n geoggers exam just now.
one of the geog question asked me why malaysia had a downfall of tourist arrivals in 2003 compared in 2002, n i answered "...because there's a campaign going on abt 'war against terrorism' and since malaysia holds some of the most important extremists and militants, thats why tourists felt insecure of their safety, thus not wanting to visit there."
my answer was totally stupid. but what else could i answer? that's the only one i could think abt. it was totally irrelevant and out of the context. im sure half of it is not even true at all. lol!
went out with dada, ant n dd last saturday to town.. just jalan2... saw hanis at lucky.. saw wabul n his fren elfy at lido.. saw farhan baby (eeki), with his gf, saw art with luqman at liat towers, saw lotsa buildings and tall skyscrapers, saw lotsa moving cars and other vehicles. saw many matreps n minahs yg mintak kene cepuk kat dahi.. lol. ape ade activation kepe last saturday? lol.
oh ya, im officially single again. since last 2 nights. DADA IF UR READING THIS SOMEDAY, I WANNA LET U KNOW THAT IM NOT. OKAY. OK? IM NOT. O-FUCKING-KAY WITH UR DECISION. but i'll accept it with grace and understand ur situation. be happy with her. dont tell me that u'd always love me deep down in some nook or cranny in ur heart cuz it doesnt matter anyway cuz in the end, u end up having a relationship with her. not me. so, i WILL move on, and though the memories n times we had were sacred and all that, the fact remains that we're not meant to be. and you're HAPPY. LIVING LIFE WITH HER. NOT ME. sayonara.
thats abt it. im just pretty bored and peeved dats y i crapped. till later.
just got back frm taking my exams. it was stupid. had my physics n geoggers exam just now.
one of the geog question asked me why malaysia had a downfall of tourist arrivals in 2003 compared in 2002, n i answered "...because there's a campaign going on abt 'war against terrorism' and since malaysia holds some of the most important extremists and militants, thats why tourists felt insecure of their safety, thus not wanting to visit there."
my answer was totally stupid. but what else could i answer? that's the only one i could think abt. it was totally irrelevant and out of the context. im sure half of it is not even true at all. lol!
went out with dada, ant n dd last saturday to town.. just jalan2... saw hanis at lucky.. saw wabul n his fren elfy at lido.. saw farhan baby (eeki), with his gf, saw art with luqman at liat towers, saw lotsa buildings and tall skyscrapers, saw lotsa moving cars and other vehicles. saw many matreps n minahs yg mintak kene cepuk kat dahi.. lol. ape ade activation kepe last saturday? lol.
oh ya, im officially single again. since last 2 nights. DADA IF UR READING THIS SOMEDAY, I WANNA LET U KNOW THAT IM NOT. OKAY. OK? IM NOT. O-FUCKING-KAY WITH UR DECISION. but i'll accept it with grace and understand ur situation. be happy with her. dont tell me that u'd always love me deep down in some nook or cranny in ur heart cuz it doesnt matter anyway cuz in the end, u end up having a relationship with her. not me. so, i WILL move on, and though the memories n times we had were sacred and all that, the fact remains that we're not meant to be. and you're HAPPY. LIVING LIFE WITH HER. NOT ME. sayonara.
thats abt it. im just pretty bored and peeved dats y i crapped. till later.
Friday, May 06, 2005
i hate being a part time lover..
i just want him all to myself.
i just want him all to myself.
Monday, April 25, 2005
Hahaha
my room is such a WreCk!!!!!!!!!! with a capital W!! damn. i wish i have a maid. i knowwwwwwww... im lazyyyyyyyyy.. damn it. i cant believe how a girl's room could look like dat.
u wanna see my wreCked room?
hahahhahaha
scroll.
i know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its sooo freakin' messy rite?!
i shall put put up a 'before' and 'after' pic la. an 'after' pic will be put up soon. sooooon.. when i hv gotten ard to clean it up.
anyway, dis is another part of my room. i call it my wall of rubbish. lol.
there used to be a sketch of me and my dada, drawn by Mary Anne Jay Hopkins on the left hand side of the big baby pic. but i gave it away to him when he told me dat he's 'leaving' for Thailand. so i thought i'd give him dat to remember us by... so foolish of me. anyway that sketch on the baby pic's right is drawn by my ex classmate Gegerl on 2003. i edited it myself. so somehow it looks retarded. originally, it looks really good and professional though!
here's a pic of a very cute ornament given to me by miss MARY ANNE JAY HOPKINS. its sooooooooooooo cute. and soft. its in a shape of the letter 'a'. which is the 1st alphabet of my name. gosh. its suppose to be my VERY belated birthday present. LOL. cute aint it? HANDMADE OK! i love it so much gurl~ thankies!!
u wanna see my wreCked room?
hahahhahaha
scroll.
i know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its sooo freakin' messy rite?!
i shall put put up a 'before' and 'after' pic la. an 'after' pic will be put up soon. sooooon.. when i hv gotten ard to clean it up.
anyway, dis is another part of my room. i call it my wall of rubbish. lol.
there used to be a sketch of me and my dada, drawn by Mary Anne Jay Hopkins on the left hand side of the big baby pic. but i gave it away to him when he told me dat he's 'leaving' for Thailand. so i thought i'd give him dat to remember us by... so foolish of me. anyway that sketch on the baby pic's right is drawn by my ex classmate Gegerl on 2003. i edited it myself. so somehow it looks retarded. originally, it looks really good and professional though!
here's a pic of a very cute ornament given to me by miss MARY ANNE JAY HOPKINS. its sooooooooooooo cute. and soft. its in a shape of the letter 'a'. which is the 1st alphabet of my name. gosh. its suppose to be my VERY belated birthday present. LOL. cute aint it? HANDMADE OK! i love it so much gurl~ thankies!!
Saturday, April 23, 2005
Cold
i hv a cold. sob sob..
went out wif my classmates to celebrate shanna's birthday. at bugis. ate. walk. laugh. snap pics. it was hilarious. hahhaa.. its a pity somebody had to go home so quick to search for her a lil' lamb. *hint hint* haha..
bought murtabak for my family. frm ZamZam. its so idotically delicious~ den went to popular at jurong east to buy some stupid stationery and a big photo album. now my photos are more organized! after dat, me farhan and ridzwan sat on the stony steps of the intchg and talk. i mean realllly talk. i finally realize that farhan do actually have a brain. we talked some serious stuffs. and shit.
when i reach home. my throat hurts so much. and no. i dint do any blowjobs dat resulted the pain. dammit. u ppl?! anyway, my fren told me dat i hv the symptoms of a cold. dammit. i nw hv to breathe frm my mouth. urggggggggh.
soo long.
went out wif my classmates to celebrate shanna's birthday. at bugis. ate. walk. laugh. snap pics. it was hilarious. hahhaa.. its a pity somebody had to go home so quick to search for her a lil' lamb. *hint hint* haha..
bought murtabak for my family. frm ZamZam. its so idotically delicious~ den went to popular at jurong east to buy some stupid stationery and a big photo album. now my photos are more organized! after dat, me farhan and ridzwan sat on the stony steps of the intchg and talk. i mean realllly talk. i finally realize that farhan do actually have a brain. we talked some serious stuffs. and shit.
when i reach home. my throat hurts so much. and no. i dint do any blowjobs dat resulted the pain. dammit. u ppl?! anyway, my fren told me dat i hv the symptoms of a cold. dammit. i nw hv to breathe frm my mouth. urggggggggh.
soo long.
Sunday, April 17, 2005
Come back.. Come back..
when you left i lost a part of me..
even though he lied. it doesnt make me love him any lesser. im so lonely. i lost all happiness i had. im trying to keep it together.. but im falling apart.
dada. im so freakin sorrie. i need. not want. you back.
okie. i sound so desperate after typing dat down. but believe me dear friends, love make you do crazy things.
even though he lied. it doesnt make me love him any lesser. im so lonely. i lost all happiness i had. im trying to keep it together.. but im falling apart.
dada. im so freakin sorrie. i need. not want. you back.
okie. i sound so desperate after typing dat down. but believe me dear friends, love make you do crazy things.
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
Amateurish Melancholic Thoughts. Sole copyright belongs to me.
[Thought 1]
The day is rainy, where are you now baby?
You are like the raindrops to my seed
With you around, i blossom and grow so beautifully
Everything was so perfect, why must you hurt me deep?
Thou shall know that she cant love you
She cant understand you like i can
Will you ever understand that you've been hurting me boo?
I remember you telling me that i was sweet
Have i changed now? Has sugar turns to vile?
Have you changed your flava now that's why you fleet?
Waiting for you wasn't even a tad worthwhile
You went out with Elise,
Infront of me u kissed her,
When you know i was watching,
You continued and there goes my heart sinking
Darling its so hard living life without you
You touched me deep inside i be wanting to cry
I still cant get over you, i may be a fool
Thinking that if we're not meant to be
Then give me back my virginity!
owhkay. dat last part was to make the whole thing meaningful and rhyme.
some lines are extracted frm famous lyrics.
[Thought 2]
I walked down the alley
My pupose was to get a table to rest my feet
But greeted me was the sight that
Was enough to make
My heart stop beating
My insides twirling
My face flushing
My head dizzy
And my limbs knobbly
To meet you again, i never have dreamt
The object of my obsession
The ecstasy to my life
The reason to the emptiness in my soul
To see you, im shy
To talk to you, im afraid
To touch you, i dare not
And then it happened, my greatest fear and nightmare
Sitting beside you was your bonita
Breaking down, i feel like
Running away, i feel like
But sitting still was all i did
Plastering a look so plastic
Disguising my vulnerability
Masquerading my feelings
But the feelings not mutual
I know he was honest
He honestly dislike me
And the past had remain as it is
The past...
The past that i so want to rewind back to
As he was leaving
With his bonita in tow
I hope he could hear my reckless muffled whisper
"I miss you.."
A wonder it was how 1 second lasts so long
In which i could still smell his familiar scent
A wonder it was how close we were
But seemed a world apart in reality
And then he was past me.
Again. PAST.
As i turned around,
Once again all i saw was a familiar picture
That still haunts me till today
The frame of his familiar broad shoulders
Walking away from me
And never stopping...
Here's to our 2nd yr Death Anniversary..
The day in which our love died.
In a tragic love story..
done on 11/7/04
10.50pm
fyi, "The alley" is a place behind the National Youth Council.
The day is rainy, where are you now baby?
You are like the raindrops to my seed
With you around, i blossom and grow so beautifully
Everything was so perfect, why must you hurt me deep?
Thou shall know that she cant love you
She cant understand you like i can
Will you ever understand that you've been hurting me boo?
I remember you telling me that i was sweet
Have i changed now? Has sugar turns to vile?
Have you changed your flava now that's why you fleet?
Waiting for you wasn't even a tad worthwhile
You went out with Elise,
Infront of me u kissed her,
When you know i was watching,
You continued and there goes my heart sinking
Darling its so hard living life without you
You touched me deep inside i be wanting to cry
I still cant get over you, i may be a fool
Thinking that if we're not meant to be
Then give me back my virginity!
owhkay. dat last part was to make the whole thing meaningful and rhyme.
some lines are extracted frm famous lyrics.
[Thought 2]
I walked down the alley
My pupose was to get a table to rest my feet
But greeted me was the sight that
Was enough to make
My heart stop beating
My insides twirling
My face flushing
My head dizzy
And my limbs knobbly
To meet you again, i never have dreamt
The object of my obsession
The ecstasy to my life
The reason to the emptiness in my soul
To see you, im shy
To talk to you, im afraid
To touch you, i dare not
And then it happened, my greatest fear and nightmare
Sitting beside you was your bonita
Breaking down, i feel like
Running away, i feel like
But sitting still was all i did
Plastering a look so plastic
Disguising my vulnerability
Masquerading my feelings
But the feelings not mutual
I know he was honest
He honestly dislike me
And the past had remain as it is
The past...
The past that i so want to rewind back to
As he was leaving
With his bonita in tow
I hope he could hear my reckless muffled whisper
"I miss you.."
A wonder it was how 1 second lasts so long
In which i could still smell his familiar scent
A wonder it was how close we were
But seemed a world apart in reality
And then he was past me.
Again. PAST.
As i turned around,
Once again all i saw was a familiar picture
That still haunts me till today
The frame of his familiar broad shoulders
Walking away from me
And never stopping...
Here's to our 2nd yr Death Anniversary..
The day in which our love died.
In a tragic love story..
done on 11/7/04
10.50pm
fyi, "The alley" is a place behind the National Youth Council.
Thursday, March 31, 2005
i try
i try ..
i will try not to think of the opposite sex too much.
hahahhahaha~
forget yesterday! lets live like you never live before!
oh ya, i missed my babygirl, ant.. where art thou?
*sob*
i will try not to think of the opposite sex too much.
hahahhahaha~
forget yesterday! lets live like you never live before!
oh ya, i missed my babygirl, ant.. where art thou?
*sob*
Thursday, March 24, 2005
Post breakup
its been exactly 7 days since he went away
how do i feel now? happy? sad? both?
hah.
this may be cheesy but 'Survivor' has been my break up anthem since he was gone~
its true.
i laugh harder nowadays,
i dont have dark circles ard my eyes anymore
i am keeping up with my studies
ok so maybe that's overrated.
hur hur...
but i am working harder with my studies since he've been gone.
so what if he's got a new gf now?
its not as if its end of the world
there's more to life than having a boyfriend
yes its true i think of him and our memories every now n den..
but its ok. dont resist. after awhile, i will forget him naturally. no use pushing it too hard. my mind will heed after awhile.
i was reading my old posts at my old blog..
how silly was i to think that the relationship wud last forever.
hurrhurrr..
i learnt some new stuffs too after breaking up with him.
-never rush to fall in love
-be a realist. optimism can be tiring and unrealistic at times.
-there's always something good that cud turn out frm something bad
to all my frens who've tagged.
THANK YOU!
these are the places that i've tried to avoid:
-taking bus 98 to anywhere ( i used to take this bus alot to meet him)
-boat quay (big bird) (our biggest fight infront of the river)
-esplanade (the place where we torn together after the fite)
-esplanade bridge, overlooking fullerton hotel (place where we patched up and cried and laughed and did soul searching and hugged and slow dancing to music only we can hear)
-youth park (the place where we first meet, where he fell in love at first sight)
-tanjong pagar (the place we frequent, lots of sweet memories and harsh ones)
-orchard (the place we frequent, but how can i avoid this place?!)
-taking bus 143 home frm town (a routine we make)
-Teban gardens (good memories, long story)
-All MANGO shops ( good memories, long story)
-Cathay Cine. Movie theater (first movie together, also the place we like to watch movies at)
why? because all these places reminds me of him.. *sighh*
how do i feel now? happy? sad? both?
hah.
this may be cheesy but 'Survivor' has been my break up anthem since he was gone~
its true.
i laugh harder nowadays,
i dont have dark circles ard my eyes anymore
i am keeping up with my studies
ok so maybe that's overrated.
hur hur...
but i am working harder with my studies since he've been gone.
so what if he's got a new gf now?
its not as if its end of the world
there's more to life than having a boyfriend
yes its true i think of him and our memories every now n den..
but its ok. dont resist. after awhile, i will forget him naturally. no use pushing it too hard. my mind will heed after awhile.
i was reading my old posts at my old blog..
how silly was i to think that the relationship wud last forever.
hurrhurrr..
i learnt some new stuffs too after breaking up with him.
-never rush to fall in love
-be a realist. optimism can be tiring and unrealistic at times.
-there's always something good that cud turn out frm something bad
to all my frens who've tagged.
THANK YOU!
these are the places that i've tried to avoid:
-taking bus 98 to anywhere ( i used to take this bus alot to meet him)
-boat quay (big bird) (our biggest fight infront of the river)
-esplanade (the place where we torn together after the fite)
-esplanade bridge, overlooking fullerton hotel (place where we patched up and cried and laughed and did soul searching and hugged and slow dancing to music only we can hear)
-youth park (the place where we first meet, where he fell in love at first sight)
-tanjong pagar (the place we frequent, lots of sweet memories and harsh ones)
-orchard (the place we frequent, but how can i avoid this place?!)
-taking bus 143 home frm town (a routine we make)
-Teban gardens (good memories, long story)
-All MANGO shops ( good memories, long story)
-Cathay Cine. Movie theater (first movie together, also the place we like to watch movies at)
why? because all these places reminds me of him.. *sighh*
Friday, March 18, 2005
he-who-should-not-be-named
He-Whose-Name-Hurts-Too-Much-To-Mention is leaving me for Thailand and for this particular fashion designer named Gloria.
whaaat?
is he no more my Dada? foe real???? no shiet?
frankie J's 'obesssion' is my latest love song with him. or should i say, breakup song..
may all Glorias in the world rot in hell.
to think back, is it her fault? maybe. she knows that He-Whose-Name-Hurts-Too-Much-To-Mention is still in love with me.. so if she is not a bitch herself why would she pursue further?? she should have be a friend and console him or something and that's abt it. but noooooooooooooo... she hafta be a girlfriend and help him forget me by replacing my place...
anyway, it takes two hands to clap. if my boyfriend havent been hitting it off with her, she prolly wouldnt have wanted to go further too..maybe.. just maybe...
face it kiera. he's not yours for keeps anymore.
whaaat?
is he no more my Dada? foe real???? no shiet?
frankie J's 'obesssion' is my latest love song with him. or should i say, breakup song..
may all Glorias in the world rot in hell.
to think back, is it her fault? maybe. she knows that He-Whose-Name-Hurts-Too-Much-To-Mention is still in love with me.. so if she is not a bitch herself why would she pursue further?? she should have be a friend and console him or something and that's abt it. but noooooooooooooo... she hafta be a girlfriend and help him forget me by replacing my place...
anyway, it takes two hands to clap. if my boyfriend havent been hitting it off with her, she prolly wouldnt have wanted to go further too..maybe.. just maybe...
face it kiera. he's not yours for keeps anymore.
Thursday, March 17, 2005
Pain
Have you ever felt so down in the pits that you felt like you needed someone to talk to but you have no one whom you can actually call?
yeah there's friends.. but are they really, genuinely bothered to hear your rants?
yeah there's bestfriends... but what happens when your bestfriends is unreachable?
parents?
why not?
and so i turned to my parents to let out all my feelings... all my misery. after all they are supposed to know me best. and im glad i did what i did. my parents were really open with me and comforted me throughout my tears and hiccups.
my world came tumbling down when my friend called me up and said he saw Botak with another girl.. Holding hands.. I called him to confirm this and he admitted that he IS with his gf.. i know that we've broken up and all but i thought we're still together but with no strings attached or something since my grandma passed away last 2 weeks. he was there for me and all, sweet and concerned. but i guess i thought wrong.
suddenly all these thoughts came rushing in my mind.
"why do i mind? why do i bother?"
" i thought u dont love him anymore?"
maybe, i dont deserve someone like him. he is too good to be true. but the fact remains that he is the best boyfriend, bestfriend, partner, companion, lover, mate ever.
so i guess it all makes sense now..
no wonder he's not been answering my calls lately.
*big long sigh*
yeah there's friends.. but are they really, genuinely bothered to hear your rants?
yeah there's bestfriends... but what happens when your bestfriends is unreachable?
parents?
why not?
and so i turned to my parents to let out all my feelings... all my misery. after all they are supposed to know me best. and im glad i did what i did. my parents were really open with me and comforted me throughout my tears and hiccups.
my world came tumbling down when my friend called me up and said he saw Botak with another girl.. Holding hands.. I called him to confirm this and he admitted that he IS with his gf.. i know that we've broken up and all but i thought we're still together but with no strings attached or something since my grandma passed away last 2 weeks. he was there for me and all, sweet and concerned. but i guess i thought wrong.
suddenly all these thoughts came rushing in my mind.
"why do i mind? why do i bother?"
" i thought u dont love him anymore?"
maybe, i dont deserve someone like him. he is too good to be true. but the fact remains that he is the best boyfriend, bestfriend, partner, companion, lover, mate ever.
so i guess it all makes sense now..
no wonder he's not been answering my calls lately.
*big long sigh*
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
Lonely im so lonely,
I have nobody,
To call my own
Im so lonely, im mr. Lonely
I have nobody,
To call my own
Im so lonely,
Yo this one here goes out to all my playas out there ya kno got to have one good girl whose always been there like ya
Kno took all the bullshit then one day she cant take it no more and decides to leave
I woke up in the middle of the night and I noticed my girl wasn't by my side, coulda sworn I was dreamin, for her I was feenin,
so I hadda take a little ride,
back tracking ova these few years,
tryna figure out wat I do to make it go bad,
cuz ever since my girl left me,
my whole left life came crashin
Im so lonely (so lonely),
Im mr. Lonely (mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own) girl
Im so lonely (so lonely)
Im mr. Lonely (mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own) girl
Cant belive I hadda girl like you and I just let you walk right outta my life,
after all I put u thru u still stuck around and stayed by my side,
what really hurt me is I broke ur heart,
baby you were a good girl and I had no right,
I really wanna make things right, cuz without u in my life girl
Im so lonely (so lonely)
Im mr. Lonely (mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody to call my own)
To call my own (to call my own) girl
Im so lonely (so lonely)
Im mr. Lonely (mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own) girl
Been all about the world ain't neva met a girl that
can take the things that you been through
Never thought the day would come where you
would get up and run and I would be out chasing u
Cuz aint nowhere in the globe id rather be,
aint noone in the globe id rather see then the girl of my dreams that made me
Be so happy but now so lonely
So lonely (so lonely)
Im mr. Lonely (mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own)
Im so lonely (so lonely)
Im mr. Lonely (mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own) girrll
Never thought that id be alone,
I didnt hope you'd be gone this long,
I jus want u to come home,
so stop playing girl and come on home (come on home),
baby girl I didn't mean to shout,
I want me and you to work it out,
I never wished Id everHurt my baby,
and its drivin me crazy cuz..
.Im so lonely (so lonely)
Im mr. Lonely (mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own)
Im so lonely (so lonely)
Im mr. Lonely (mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own) girll
Lonely, so lonely
So lonely, (so lonely),
Mr. Lonely,
so lonely
So lonely,
so lonely,
(so lonely),
Mr. Lonely
I hope this is how my ex is feeling...
I have nobody,
To call my own
Im so lonely, im mr. Lonely
I have nobody,
To call my own
Im so lonely,
Yo this one here goes out to all my playas out there ya kno got to have one good girl whose always been there like ya
Kno took all the bullshit then one day she cant take it no more and decides to leave
I woke up in the middle of the night and I noticed my girl wasn't by my side, coulda sworn I was dreamin, for her I was feenin,
so I hadda take a little ride,
back tracking ova these few years,
tryna figure out wat I do to make it go bad,
cuz ever since my girl left me,
my whole left life came crashin
Im so lonely (so lonely),
Im mr. Lonely (mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own) girl
Im so lonely (so lonely)
Im mr. Lonely (mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own) girl
Cant belive I hadda girl like you and I just let you walk right outta my life,
after all I put u thru u still stuck around and stayed by my side,
what really hurt me is I broke ur heart,
baby you were a good girl and I had no right,
I really wanna make things right, cuz without u in my life girl
Im so lonely (so lonely)
Im mr. Lonely (mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody to call my own)
To call my own (to call my own) girl
Im so lonely (so lonely)
Im mr. Lonely (mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own) girl
Been all about the world ain't neva met a girl that
can take the things that you been through
Never thought the day would come where you
would get up and run and I would be out chasing u
Cuz aint nowhere in the globe id rather be,
aint noone in the globe id rather see then the girl of my dreams that made me
Be so happy but now so lonely
So lonely (so lonely)
Im mr. Lonely (mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own)
Im so lonely (so lonely)
Im mr. Lonely (mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own) girrll
Never thought that id be alone,
I didnt hope you'd be gone this long,
I jus want u to come home,
so stop playing girl and come on home (come on home),
baby girl I didn't mean to shout,
I want me and you to work it out,
I never wished Id everHurt my baby,
and its drivin me crazy cuz..
.Im so lonely (so lonely)
Im mr. Lonely (mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own)
Im so lonely (so lonely)
Im mr. Lonely (mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own) girll
Lonely, so lonely
So lonely, (so lonely),
Mr. Lonely,
so lonely
So lonely,
so lonely,
(so lonely),
Mr. Lonely
I hope this is how my ex is feeling...
Monday, February 28, 2005
i wish
i cant wait..
i cant wait for that day when i will sit akimbo in a plush songket cushion,
shyly, nervously, anxiously ..
waiting..
waiting for the man of my dreams to sit face to face with the kadhi..
the man of my dreams is clad in white, with a black songkok..
dresses to the nines,
the expressions full of anxiety..
any minute now..
any minute now, i will be married to him..
i will share my everything with him..
whats mine is his,
whats his is mine..
eternal bliss..
alhamdulillah,
when it is finally over, i will raise my hennaed hands and thank God for the blessings He's given me on this day..
and then..
and then he came to me, both of us looking so flustered with the adrenaline rushing,
tilt my chin up,
and kiss my forehead...
i will be so mesmerized...
that is how i wanna hv my akad nikah. i wish. i will feel so in love on the day i get married... i hope, im not gonna marry someone whom i dont love... God, let my wish come true..
May peace be upon you
i cant wait for that day when i will sit akimbo in a plush songket cushion,
shyly, nervously, anxiously ..
waiting..
waiting for the man of my dreams to sit face to face with the kadhi..
the man of my dreams is clad in white, with a black songkok..
dresses to the nines,
the expressions full of anxiety..
any minute now..
any minute now, i will be married to him..
i will share my everything with him..
whats mine is his,
whats his is mine..
eternal bliss..
alhamdulillah,
when it is finally over, i will raise my hennaed hands and thank God for the blessings He's given me on this day..
and then..
and then he came to me, both of us looking so flustered with the adrenaline rushing,
tilt my chin up,
and kiss my forehead...
i will be so mesmerized...
that is how i wanna hv my akad nikah. i wish. i will feel so in love on the day i get married... i hope, im not gonna marry someone whom i dont love... God, let my wish come true..
May peace be upon you
so hurt
i broke up wif him again...
i thought that this time it was for real..
but i was wrong.
life hafta move on..
if im fated to be with him...
i will.
if not.
i will not.
its my birthday today.
and it is the suckiest birthday ever.
i didnt celebrate it.
i dont see a need to anymore.
funny how it is.
cuz i usually hear ppl saying this when they're old..
but im saying this when im still 17.
gawd.
whatever.
whoever his new girl is,
i bet she cant love him like i did.
pompan tudung?? tsk tsk tsk *shakes head n walks away*
i never thot he'd go for those girls..
i thought that this time it was for real..
but i was wrong.
life hafta move on..
if im fated to be with him...
i will.
if not.
i will not.
its my birthday today.
and it is the suckiest birthday ever.
i didnt celebrate it.
i dont see a need to anymore.
funny how it is.
cuz i usually hear ppl saying this when they're old..
but im saying this when im still 17.
gawd.
whatever.
whoever his new girl is,
i bet she cant love him like i did.
pompan tudung?? tsk tsk tsk *shakes head n walks away*
i never thot he'd go for those girls..
Sunday, February 20, 2005
Reunited
After a long hiatus, im finally back again with the love of my life. it touched me deep inside that he's still willing to accept me back after all the mischief that i've done throughout my hiatus. his sincerity n loyalty is immortal. even in a hundred years, i'll never be able to find a man as good as him. i wont say his perfect. maybe to u he's not. but what matters is that is, to me.. he's proved that he IS different. he's not like those guys i've wasted all my adolescent time on. he's willing to see through all my thick makeup and childish behaviours. and now.. more than ever, im sure that he is THE ONE that i've waited for so long.. though this relationship has lots of obstacles, i am willing to overcome it with him. he have sacrificed his all for me.. and now, its my turn.
Thursday, February 17, 2005
..........
lust in life will lead u to problems. believe me.
Friday, February 11, 2005
Ode to Violentines Day
Valentine's Day is meant for those in love.
But what goes for those who's NOT in love?
Are we suppose to find a partner just to fit the like the rest them other ppl?
And for what?
So that we'll feel better? so that we'll fit in? so that we dont appear like some pathetic loner?
Being single is humane too.
Valentine's day shouldn't be a day where u show off those flowers u got from your partner
Or that big stuffed teddy your partner gave or won for u
Seeing couple's holding hands, smooching on the escalator, making out in the parks..
Or in the OPEN as we're more liberalized now,
Aint use to be a problem to me
Cuz i used to be like one of them
But now that im single
It irks me to see this ppl smooching every once in a while
And using baby talk
Everytime its 14 of February
I will usually be blinded by the glow.
The glow u can see in every girl's face carrying a bouquet of flowers.
I am not jealous.
Nor am i pathetic
Neither am i saying this cuz i dont have a partner for valentines day.
I am just expressing my views on the day where all couple's go crazy for flowers, chocs. n teddies.
I shall now baptise 14 feb as, VIOLENTINE'S DAY
So HAPPY VIOLENTINE'S DAY to one and all.
"Hearts and roses and kisses galore...
What the hell is that stuff for?
People get mushy and start acting queer
It's definitely the most annoying day of the year.
This day needs to get the hell over with and pass.
Before I shove a dozen roses up Cupid's ass.
I 'll spend the day so drunk I can't speak
And wear all black for the rest of the week.
Guys act all sweet but soon it will fade
For all they are doing is trying to get laid.
The arrow cupid shot at me must not have hit,
Because I think love is a bunch of SHIT.
So there's my story...
what can I say
Love bites ass... SCREW VALENTINE'S DAY!"
But what goes for those who's NOT in love?
Are we suppose to find a partner just to fit the like the rest them other ppl?
And for what?
So that we'll feel better? so that we'll fit in? so that we dont appear like some pathetic loner?
Being single is humane too.
Valentine's day shouldn't be a day where u show off those flowers u got from your partner
Or that big stuffed teddy your partner gave or won for u
Seeing couple's holding hands, smooching on the escalator, making out in the parks..
Or in the OPEN as we're more liberalized now,
Aint use to be a problem to me
Cuz i used to be like one of them
But now that im single
It irks me to see this ppl smooching every once in a while
And using baby talk
Everytime its 14 of February
I will usually be blinded by the glow.
The glow u can see in every girl's face carrying a bouquet of flowers.
I am not jealous.
Nor am i pathetic
Neither am i saying this cuz i dont have a partner for valentines day.
I am just expressing my views on the day where all couple's go crazy for flowers, chocs. n teddies.
I shall now baptise 14 feb as, VIOLENTINE'S DAY
So HAPPY VIOLENTINE'S DAY to one and all.
"Hearts and roses and kisses galore...
What the hell is that stuff for?
People get mushy and start acting queer
It's definitely the most annoying day of the year.
This day needs to get the hell over with and pass.
Before I shove a dozen roses up Cupid's ass.
I 'll spend the day so drunk I can't speak
And wear all black for the rest of the week.
Guys act all sweet but soon it will fade
For all they are doing is trying to get laid.
The arrow cupid shot at me must not have hit,
Because I think love is a bunch of SHIT.
So there's my story...
what can I say
Love bites ass... SCREW VALENTINE'S DAY!"
Friday, February 04, 2005
Singapore Poly OpenhOuse
we went to the SP open house juz now.. n.. well.. geez. it was BOOO-RINGG..
tOok some pics on my digi on the way.. lol. dun laff..
ok i feel so lesbian rite now. hahahaha
ok here's another one.
took lotsa NJ's pics.. lol.
here's one of us after so tired walking around like an over-worked mice, looking for the foodcourt
me n NJ's dirty lil shoes.. LOL.
and oh yeah, i recently removed my tattoo and it hurts like mad.
dats my burnt mark.. recovering...
LOL.
moral of the story, think twice before doing something stupid. yes, those things dat u think arent stupid at that time, WILL be stupid after some time.. LOL.
and dis is me in my room, excuse my dark circles.. i've not been having peaceful sleep.
here's another one of me...
yes, i purposely posed like dat.. LOL.
that flower u kept on noticing on my hair.. costs me 7 bucks frm forever 21. for a dried flower?! LOL.
i bought it anyhoos, cuz i loved it. there's only 1 left, in a shade of black.. bugger.
tOok some pics on my digi on the way.. lol. dun laff..
ok i feel so lesbian rite now. hahahaha
ok here's another one.
took lotsa NJ's pics.. lol.
here's one of us after so tired walking around like an over-worked mice, looking for the foodcourt
me n NJ's dirty lil shoes.. LOL.
and oh yeah, i recently removed my tattoo and it hurts like mad.
dats my burnt mark.. recovering...
LOL.
moral of the story, think twice before doing something stupid. yes, those things dat u think arent stupid at that time, WILL be stupid after some time.. LOL.
and dis is me in my room, excuse my dark circles.. i've not been having peaceful sleep.
here's another one of me...
yes, i purposely posed like dat.. LOL.
that flower u kept on noticing on my hair.. costs me 7 bucks frm forever 21. for a dried flower?! LOL.
i bought it anyhoos, cuz i loved it. there's only 1 left, in a shade of black.. bugger.
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
my secret love
Boy ur so hard to believe
Just a friend
Thats all Ive ever been to you
Oh just a girl
Who wants to be the center of your world
But I aint got much to offer
But my heart and soul
And I guess thats not enough
For you to notice me
Im just a girl
And I guess thats all Ill ever be to you
To you
I try to smile when I see other girls with you
Acting like everything is ok
But ohh
You dont know how it feels to be so in love
With someone who doesnt even know
My secret love
In my dreams
I see us both together constantly
Why cant you see
This love thats here for you inside of me
Ohhh
What do I have to do
For you to notice this
You look at her with love
With me its just friendship
Im just your girl
And I guess thats all Ill ever be to you
To you
What do you see in her
You dont see in me (dont see in me)
Boy youre so hard to believe
Why do you show her love
But theres none for me
Boy you dont make sense to me
Cause I dont have much to offer
But my heart and soul
And I guess thats not enough
For you to notice me
Im just your girl
And I guess thats all ill ever be to you
To you
I try to smile when I see other girls with you
Acting like everything is ok (everything aint ok)
But ohh
you dont know how it feels to be so in love (so in love with you baby)
With someone who doesnt even know
My secret love
Boy youre so hard to believe...
Just a friend
Thats all Ive ever been to you
Oh just a girl
Who wants to be the center of your world
But I aint got much to offer
But my heart and soul
And I guess thats not enough
For you to notice me
Im just a girl
And I guess thats all Ill ever be to you
To you
I try to smile when I see other girls with you
Acting like everything is ok
But ohh
You dont know how it feels to be so in love
With someone who doesnt even know
My secret love
In my dreams
I see us both together constantly
Why cant you see
This love thats here for you inside of me
Ohhh
What do I have to do
For you to notice this
You look at her with love
With me its just friendship
Im just your girl
And I guess thats all Ill ever be to you
To you
What do you see in her
You dont see in me (dont see in me)
Boy youre so hard to believe
Why do you show her love
But theres none for me
Boy you dont make sense to me
Cause I dont have much to offer
But my heart and soul
And I guess thats not enough
For you to notice me
Im just your girl
And I guess thats all ill ever be to you
To you
I try to smile when I see other girls with you
Acting like everything is ok (everything aint ok)
But ohh
you dont know how it feels to be so in love (so in love with you baby)
With someone who doesnt even know
My secret love
Boy youre so hard to believe...
Thursday, January 20, 2005
why?
many a time, i stop and i wonder why?
why am i walking this way when i can walk that way?
why am i sitting here when i can soak up the sun out there?
why are u staring at me?
why am i still listening to u?
why cant i be like other kids?
why am i pathetic?
why did he said he loved me when we just barely knew each other?
why did i said i love him back when im not sure i mean it?
why is it that i happen to always fall for the bad-ass guys?
why such rottten luck?
u think i should stop whining?
i think so too...
anyway, my school table is filled with khairul amri's pictures here and there. gawd. am. i. pathetic.
i hate my form teacher.
i hate the fact that every teacher thought dat i have reformed and repented.
u can think again n kiss my thick ass babe.
toodles.
why am i walking this way when i can walk that way?
why am i sitting here when i can soak up the sun out there?
why are u staring at me?
why am i still listening to u?
why cant i be like other kids?
why am i pathetic?
why did he said he loved me when we just barely knew each other?
why did i said i love him back when im not sure i mean it?
why is it that i happen to always fall for the bad-ass guys?
why such rottten luck?
u think i should stop whining?
i think so too...
anyway, my school table is filled with khairul amri's pictures here and there. gawd. am. i. pathetic.
i hate my form teacher.
i hate the fact that every teacher thought dat i have reformed and repented.
u can think again n kiss my thick ass babe.
toodles.
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
i refuse to accept the fact
u should not hv sex wif dat someone juz bcuz u feel obligated to. i feel so sad.. i've been getting more n more news dat my friends are losing their virginity. i know its only human for us to have sexual intercourse but, what? is it mating season now?!
im not saying im an angel but, your first time should be something dat u can cherish remembering how sweet it was etc.. but i guess dat juz dont happen anymore do they?
men are such idiots.
im not saying im an angel but, your first time should be something dat u can cherish remembering how sweet it was etc.. but i guess dat juz dont happen anymore do they?
men are such idiots.