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August 2004
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Friday, December 24, 2004
nUyUn n bOo
nUyUn expressed her feelings to me juz now.. so sweet.. so touching.. how she values me n our friendship etc...
and no.. i aint no lesbian.
mebbe i will be, but not wif her.. she's my bestfriend.
anwyay, went out with her and dis fren of hers, kai..
so fun.. took lotsa pictures..
town was PACKED. JAM PACKED. SARDINE PACKED.
esplanade, orchard boulevard was serene... with the soft murmurs of caroling u can hear frm the other side of esplanade... sat at the river and did soul searching.. yup all 3 of us..
ok.
ALL THESE XMAS CAROLS ARE GETTING TO ME..
but hey! its XMAS! wat will xmas b without the carols..
will upload pictures soon...
anyway, kai is HOT. ok, mebbe not so much of a hottie, but he's CUTE. definite CUTIE!
and no.. i aint no lesbian.
mebbe i will be, but not wif her.. she's my bestfriend.
anwyay, went out with her and dis fren of hers, kai..
so fun.. took lotsa pictures..
town was PACKED. JAM PACKED. SARDINE PACKED.
esplanade, orchard boulevard was serene... with the soft murmurs of caroling u can hear frm the other side of esplanade... sat at the river and did soul searching.. yup all 3 of us..
ok.
ALL THESE XMAS CAROLS ARE GETTING TO ME..
but hey! its XMAS! wat will xmas b without the carols..
will upload pictures soon...
anyway, kai is HOT. ok, mebbe not so much of a hottie, but he's CUTE. definite CUTIE!
Sunday, December 19, 2004
i.love.my.mom.so.much.i.could.juz.cry
my mom juz fed me medicine early in the wee hours at 3.45am juz now.. i was infront of this computer and suddenly she woke up and asked me to take my medicine... i told her dat i dun wan to.. i hate medicine and i told her that the cough will die down soon....
i den carried on with my work on the computer... later my mom came beside me and fed me medicine...
oh my god. i love her so much.. i dunno why i didnt start to appreciate her all these years.. she is the one who gave me life dammit. mom... no one can take ur place in my heart mommy.. not even my freakin' boyfriend or husband.. i love you.. im juz so touched.
i den carried on with my work on the computer... later my mom came beside me and fed me medicine...
oh my god. i love her so much.. i dunno why i didnt start to appreciate her all these years.. she is the one who gave me life dammit. mom... no one can take ur place in my heart mommy.. not even my freakin' boyfriend or husband.. i love you.. im juz so touched.
Saturday, December 18, 2004
i hate this
i really hate this background music. reminds me of nooris and sheila. sheila have not been calling me anymore and last i heard, my parents spot my ex-DADA with her.. wat the? ape2 la... may u both live happily ever after..
Friday, December 17, 2004
and the result is......
as i was ironing my school uniform, i started to get all melancholic.. dis is gonna be the last time im ironing this shirt and wearing it.. *sigh*
when it was my turn to get my results i told Mr. Lim
Me: "Cher, get over it ar.. i dun wanna know ar.."
Mr Lim: "U sign here first.. dun talk so much..."
Me: "Correct wat... i already know i go ite. MY LIFE IS DESTINED TO BE WITH ITE. SO SAVE ME THE SUSPENSE LA.."
(While taking out my result slip frm his box he said dis)
Mr Lim: "Sure or not?? What if i say..... YOU'RE PROMOTED!!"
(big shriek from me)
Me: " Oh MY GOD!"
when i shouted everyone was like looking at me and saying "akidah pass ar.. akidah pass ar.." ahahhaa.. yes ppl, thank you...
but now, as im typing this my mom is nagging at me bcuz of my results.
why? u may ask?
because i told her that i failed. i told my sister that i failed. i told my brother that i failed. but i didnt tell my father. save the best for the last. tonight my sister will be sleeping over here at my place.. im gonna reveal the big result at night either before or after they have their dinner.
should i go out n celebrate?
SHEDA/ANT asks me out to town to buy pants...
but den again, dis is the day that changed my life siak.. my shining glory.. i will wan to treasure it and make it a memorable day.
though i have to 'tahan' with my mother's nagging.. urgh.
btw, i pass with 8 points. u need at least 10 points to pass and be promoted.
when it was my turn to get my results i told Mr. Lim
Me: "Cher, get over it ar.. i dun wanna know ar.."
Mr Lim: "U sign here first.. dun talk so much..."
Me: "Correct wat... i already know i go ite. MY LIFE IS DESTINED TO BE WITH ITE. SO SAVE ME THE SUSPENSE LA.."
(While taking out my result slip frm his box he said dis)
Mr Lim: "Sure or not?? What if i say..... YOU'RE PROMOTED!!"
(big shriek from me)
Me: " Oh MY GOD!"
when i shouted everyone was like looking at me and saying "akidah pass ar.. akidah pass ar.." ahahhaa.. yes ppl, thank you...
but now, as im typing this my mom is nagging at me bcuz of my results.
why? u may ask?
because i told her that i failed. i told my sister that i failed. i told my brother that i failed. but i didnt tell my father. save the best for the last. tonight my sister will be sleeping over here at my place.. im gonna reveal the big result at night either before or after they have their dinner.
should i go out n celebrate?
SHEDA/ANT asks me out to town to buy pants...
but den again, dis is the day that changed my life siak.. my shining glory.. i will wan to treasure it and make it a memorable day.
though i have to 'tahan' with my mother's nagging.. urgh.
btw, i pass with 8 points. u need at least 10 points to pass and be promoted.
What a day!
i went to SIR building juz now, or now called ICA, with NUYUN, to change my passport photo. I was like, wat, 9 or 10 yrs old in that when i first took my passport photo. after that we made our way to town cuz we thought SHEDA/ANT was gonna meet us there.. skali she msged me and said she got not enough cash with her to go out.. So i said ok la.. never mind, its ok.. and so, we took the train to Orchard mrt stn and guess wat? here's the best part.
THE STRAP TO MY HEELS (ladies shoe) CAME OFF! as in, cannot be used anymore.. so wat did AKIDAH the GREAT n SHAMELESS did? I walked barefooted all the way to Lucky Plaza in the hope of finding a Value Shop $1. To buy slippers, cuz i remember there used to be that shop there, but i was left disappointed. THERE'S NO BLOODY VALUE SHOP. so wat did AKIDAH the GREAT n SHAMELESS did? walk all around Lucky Plaza barefooted trying to find a shop that sells slippers for cheap. to no avail. Luckily after i felt like commiting suicide by jumping down frm the second floor of Lucky Plaza (i know.. its juz 2nd floor rite? heehee), NUYUN the GENIUS decided to meddle ard with my broken shoe and suddenly asked me, (amidst my exasperated rantings abt the lack of shops selling cheap slippers at Lucky Plaza) "Do u have safety pin?" and i suddenly remembered that i have safety pin tucked inside my bag. I suddenly felt like putting that safety pin in my bag before i went out of the house juz now.. no idea why. and now i know why. cuz somehow, i know that i will hv a misfortune today. and NUYUN used the safety pin to buckle back the straps together and VOILA! the shoe is reusable again, and frankly, much more comfortable.. ahhaha... thanks NUYUN.
and so we made our way to the 6th floor to the eating place at Lucky Plaza and ate.. Suddenly kak HOODS came in.. i waved at her, smiled and continued eating.. and wen i am almost done with food, she came over to my table and chatted for a bit. SHE'S LOOKING GOOD man. N I MEAN, DAMN GOOD! so pretty... so petite.. and i also saw my ex khairul with his gf. i said hello and flicked my hair as i walked past him. hahaha so bitchy~ and his gf was all, like wat, EXCITED TO SEE HIS MAN'S EX-GF. Wadddehelll?! hahahaha..
after eating we went to Far East Plaza and window shopped.. On the way there, saw Idris, this guy frm my skool, but he stayed back, and then suddenly gone.. last i heard was he was in Boys' Home. N den suddenly saw him walked past me infront of BODY SHOP @ scotts. i look at him, he look at me, i waved and he said, "akidah eh?" i was like.. "yeah... how r u? kerja mane skrg?" and he said, he's working at sakura now.. bla bla bla n den we said goodbye. forgot to take his number. u never know when it will come in handy right?
when we reach Far East Plaza, i saw this malay guy wearing black frm head to toe but looking soooo.. YUMMY! he was wearing this Zoo York sweater and i christened him 'ZOO YORK' since den.. I was like stalking him siak.. hahahahhaha.. wherever he go, i dragged NUYUN along with me to stalk him.. Hahahaha.. No la, actually not stalking, juz that, he happens to always go to the same places as me inside the mall. ahhaha.. and then... another major thing happened..
when we wanted to ride the escalator frm the 2nd floor to the 3rd floor, there's this 2 BAPOK (transsexual) going the opp. way. The first BAPOK, looked at my bag. i mean, he/she was like making it obvious he was looking at my bag, he/she was like squiting closely with the head slightly tilting sideways.. i was wearing this pink Chanel bag btw.. i didnt mind much la actually, 'nak tgk, tgk la....' den i asked NUYUN, if the shop CHEEKS & LIPS is at the 2nd or 3rd floor.. while i was asking this, NUYUN wasnt paying attention to my question and was like nudging me to look ahead and she was like suppressing a laugh.. suddenly when i looked ahead, i saw the other BAPOK almost fell down frm the last step of the escalator, but he/she was doing it gracefully... u know.. a guy wanting to be a girl.. that kind of exaggerated body language? ahhh yeah.. that one. and so, i looked at her/him and he/she stopped and stared at us.. NUYUN quickly ran up the escalator steps and was hurrying me to come up the steps quick.. i was confused. i was like "what?? what juz happened? i dun understand!" suddenly i realized that the BAPOK was mad at us! when we reached the top of the escalator at lever 3 they both shouted frm the 2nd level to the 3rd level some unkind remarks and we were like "SIAL LA.. APE KAU BUAT SIAK NUYUN?! KAU CKP APE SIAK KAT BAPOK TU?!" HAHAHAHAHAHHA...
and so, after that, we were watching our moves so that we wont bump into them again.
at 2nd floor i saw ZOO YORK alone, staring down to the 1st floor so i braved myself and said hello..
(all in malay language)
Me:"u alone?"
Zoo York: "yeah.."
Me:"r u malay?"
Zoo York:"Yeah.."
Me:"Whats ur name?"
Zoo York:"Hairi...."
ahhh... and the rest is history....
oh yeah, i saw SELLI too~ outside Wisma Atria.. LOOKING GOOD!
after that we went Bugis Village, accompany NUYUN go apply job.. but the ladyboss is not in, so she chatted with her friend for awhile and den we went off.. NUYUN said she wanna check out OG so we went.. then we went to this retarded mall called 'THE BENCOOLEN' opp. OG and after that we exited at the wrong place and suddenly i dunno where we were.. i said "U wanna try hendrix?" and i suggested walking to boat quay.
and so.. we walk and we walk and we walk and we walk suddenly reach Bugis Village again. Waddehell? we were walking in circles! so i juz told NUYUN to forget the whole 'walking to boat quay' idea n took the train. when we reach hendrix, NUYUN ask this girl frm Hendrix if there's any job vacancy there.. that girl called the manager and the rest is again, history.......
she got the job! the manager asked if i wanted to work there too, NUYUN said she's not sure if im into this kinda work. true, true... i cant fucking get home late, how to work at a club? hahahaha
and if u were thinking that i managed to get ZOO YORK's number and we were hitting it off etc... YOU WERE WRONG! after i asked his name, i was also mesmerized by this other guy at the first floor, so i made a mistake of saying to NUYUN "Eh that guy's so cute!!!! i wanna go down now and get his number..." i think he heard what i say and den he walked off.. AHAHAHHAHA.. I didnt even mean that sehh.. i was juz saying it.. its not as if i REALLY would wanna ask that guy's number. but this ZOO YORK is really my cup of COKE!
why am i so 'menggelitis' (jawa word.. dunno? ask ur parents or anyone who got mixed jawa blood.) when tomorrow i will be doomed for life? i mean, tomorrow is my freaking N'LEVEL results dammit. this is it. the end. i am doomed to be a failure in studies and go to ite, study some course that i wont even like and after that? be a bummer? dunno la... why worry when there's ZOO YORK to 'berangan' about..
ZOO YORK. I LOVE YOU! AHAHHAHAHAHHA
THE STRAP TO MY HEELS (ladies shoe) CAME OFF! as in, cannot be used anymore.. so wat did AKIDAH the GREAT n SHAMELESS did? I walked barefooted all the way to Lucky Plaza in the hope of finding a Value Shop $1. To buy slippers, cuz i remember there used to be that shop there, but i was left disappointed. THERE'S NO BLOODY VALUE SHOP. so wat did AKIDAH the GREAT n SHAMELESS did? walk all around Lucky Plaza barefooted trying to find a shop that sells slippers for cheap. to no avail. Luckily after i felt like commiting suicide by jumping down frm the second floor of Lucky Plaza (i know.. its juz 2nd floor rite? heehee), NUYUN the GENIUS decided to meddle ard with my broken shoe and suddenly asked me, (amidst my exasperated rantings abt the lack of shops selling cheap slippers at Lucky Plaza) "Do u have safety pin?" and i suddenly remembered that i have safety pin tucked inside my bag. I suddenly felt like putting that safety pin in my bag before i went out of the house juz now.. no idea why. and now i know why. cuz somehow, i know that i will hv a misfortune today. and NUYUN used the safety pin to buckle back the straps together and VOILA! the shoe is reusable again, and frankly, much more comfortable.. ahhaha... thanks NUYUN.
and so we made our way to the 6th floor to the eating place at Lucky Plaza and ate.. Suddenly kak HOODS came in.. i waved at her, smiled and continued eating.. and wen i am almost done with food, she came over to my table and chatted for a bit. SHE'S LOOKING GOOD man. N I MEAN, DAMN GOOD! so pretty... so petite.. and i also saw my ex khairul with his gf. i said hello and flicked my hair as i walked past him. hahaha so bitchy~ and his gf was all, like wat, EXCITED TO SEE HIS MAN'S EX-GF. Wadddehelll?! hahahaha..
after eating we went to Far East Plaza and window shopped.. On the way there, saw Idris, this guy frm my skool, but he stayed back, and then suddenly gone.. last i heard was he was in Boys' Home. N den suddenly saw him walked past me infront of BODY SHOP @ scotts. i look at him, he look at me, i waved and he said, "akidah eh?" i was like.. "yeah... how r u? kerja mane skrg?" and he said, he's working at sakura now.. bla bla bla n den we said goodbye. forgot to take his number. u never know when it will come in handy right?
when we reach Far East Plaza, i saw this malay guy wearing black frm head to toe but looking soooo.. YUMMY! he was wearing this Zoo York sweater and i christened him 'ZOO YORK' since den.. I was like stalking him siak.. hahahahhaha.. wherever he go, i dragged NUYUN along with me to stalk him.. Hahahaha.. No la, actually not stalking, juz that, he happens to always go to the same places as me inside the mall. ahhaha.. and then... another major thing happened..
when we wanted to ride the escalator frm the 2nd floor to the 3rd floor, there's this 2 BAPOK (transsexual) going the opp. way. The first BAPOK, looked at my bag. i mean, he/she was like making it obvious he was looking at my bag, he/she was like squiting closely with the head slightly tilting sideways.. i was wearing this pink Chanel bag btw.. i didnt mind much la actually, 'nak tgk, tgk la....' den i asked NUYUN, if the shop CHEEKS & LIPS is at the 2nd or 3rd floor.. while i was asking this, NUYUN wasnt paying attention to my question and was like nudging me to look ahead and she was like suppressing a laugh.. suddenly when i looked ahead, i saw the other BAPOK almost fell down frm the last step of the escalator, but he/she was doing it gracefully... u know.. a guy wanting to be a girl.. that kind of exaggerated body language? ahhh yeah.. that one. and so, i looked at her/him and he/she stopped and stared at us.. NUYUN quickly ran up the escalator steps and was hurrying me to come up the steps quick.. i was confused. i was like "what?? what juz happened? i dun understand!" suddenly i realized that the BAPOK was mad at us! when we reached the top of the escalator at lever 3 they both shouted frm the 2nd level to the 3rd level some unkind remarks and we were like "SIAL LA.. APE KAU BUAT SIAK NUYUN?! KAU CKP APE SIAK KAT BAPOK TU?!" HAHAHAHAHAHHA...
and so, after that, we were watching our moves so that we wont bump into them again.
at 2nd floor i saw ZOO YORK alone, staring down to the 1st floor so i braved myself and said hello..
(all in malay language)
Me:"u alone?"
Zoo York: "yeah.."
Me:"r u malay?"
Zoo York:"Yeah.."
Me:"Whats ur name?"
Zoo York:"Hairi...."
ahhh... and the rest is history....
oh yeah, i saw SELLI too~ outside Wisma Atria.. LOOKING GOOD!
after that we went Bugis Village, accompany NUYUN go apply job.. but the ladyboss is not in, so she chatted with her friend for awhile and den we went off.. NUYUN said she wanna check out OG so we went.. then we went to this retarded mall called 'THE BENCOOLEN' opp. OG and after that we exited at the wrong place and suddenly i dunno where we were.. i said "U wanna try hendrix?" and i suggested walking to boat quay.
and so.. we walk and we walk and we walk and we walk suddenly reach Bugis Village again. Waddehell? we were walking in circles! so i juz told NUYUN to forget the whole 'walking to boat quay' idea n took the train. when we reach hendrix, NUYUN ask this girl frm Hendrix if there's any job vacancy there.. that girl called the manager and the rest is again, history.......
she got the job! the manager asked if i wanted to work there too, NUYUN said she's not sure if im into this kinda work. true, true... i cant fucking get home late, how to work at a club? hahahaha
and if u were thinking that i managed to get ZOO YORK's number and we were hitting it off etc... YOU WERE WRONG! after i asked his name, i was also mesmerized by this other guy at the first floor, so i made a mistake of saying to NUYUN "Eh that guy's so cute!!!! i wanna go down now and get his number..." i think he heard what i say and den he walked off.. AHAHAHHAHA.. I didnt even mean that sehh.. i was juz saying it.. its not as if i REALLY would wanna ask that guy's number. but this ZOO YORK is really my cup of COKE!
why am i so 'menggelitis' (jawa word.. dunno? ask ur parents or anyone who got mixed jawa blood.) when tomorrow i will be doomed for life? i mean, tomorrow is my freaking N'LEVEL results dammit. this is it. the end. i am doomed to be a failure in studies and go to ite, study some course that i wont even like and after that? be a bummer? dunno la... why worry when there's ZOO YORK to 'berangan' about..
ZOO YORK. I LOVE YOU! AHAHHAHAHAHHA
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
download songs
if u wanna download songs but not quite sure of what songs to download, here's a few suggestions
- Wonderful - Ja Rule ft R Kelly
- Bounce along - Wayne Wonder
- Its a pity - Tanya Stevens (the song you should be hearing on my site now)
- Separated - Usher
- Millionaire - Kelis ft Outkast
- Get no better - Cassidy ft Mashonda
- Play rough - Sean Paul ft Cecile
- Karma - Alicia Keys
- Bananza (Belly dancer) - Akon
- Bedtime - Babyface ft Usher
- Dj - Jamelia
- Stop - Jamelia
- Lovers & Friends - Lil John ft Usher
- Turning you on - Nina Sky
- Together - Busta Rhymes ft Rah Digga
k thats all for now.. till later... im now so hooked on dj - jamelia n lovers & friends - lil John ft usher . but its still downloading.. urgh. Cant wait!
- Wonderful - Ja Rule ft R Kelly
- Bounce along - Wayne Wonder
- Its a pity - Tanya Stevens (the song you should be hearing on my site now)
- Separated - Usher
- Millionaire - Kelis ft Outkast
- Get no better - Cassidy ft Mashonda
- Play rough - Sean Paul ft Cecile
- Karma - Alicia Keys
- Bananza (Belly dancer) - Akon
- Bedtime - Babyface ft Usher
- Dj - Jamelia
- Stop - Jamelia
- Lovers & Friends - Lil John ft Usher
- Turning you on - Nina Sky
- Together - Busta Rhymes ft Rah Digga
k thats all for now.. till later... im now so hooked on dj - jamelia n lovers & friends - lil John ft usher . but its still downloading.. urgh. Cant wait!
Sunday, December 12, 2004
brother for sale!
im so freakin' furious. my mother is blaming me bcuz i didnt clean up my brother's room. MY BROTHER IS FRIGGIN' 25 turning 26 SOON DAMMIT. N HE IS FRIGGIN GETTING MARRIED SOON! he should at least clean up his mess pls.
the agent who wanted to sell my house brought some ppl to view my house juz now, and since my parents arent home, i hafta like, clean up here n there. the agent said she'll be coming ard at 2pm. n i woke up at 1pm feeling cranky cuz i was awoken by the sound of the friggin' sms alert frm my hp. wat adds to my nerve is state of my brother's room. it is friggin' in a mess n it would take a day to really clean it up. so i juz decided to close the door to his bedroom n tell the agent that someone's sleeping in that room and so they cant view the room.
so, all is over n done with...
n den, my momma came home frm work.. and she asks me if the agents came ard yet. i said yes.. n den she went to check my brother's room n said
Mom: Y is his door closed? is he at home?
Me: No, he's not in
Mom: Den y izzit close?
Me: Bcuz his room is like a shipwreck! n i got no time to clean it juz now.
Mom: I should have knew it. u are such a lazy daughter. with no integrity, u told me dat u wanna clean up the house. n u never keep up to ur promise!
Me: But mom, he's 26!!! n getting married soon. its about time dat he start doing this kinda things on his OWN.
(and so the argument continues with voices raising and finger pointing)
i swear i sometime thinks dat my mom favours my brother more. he IS after all the only son in this family. so he's sorta precious. BUT STILL?! he have never did a single housework in this house. not even to help in putting up or putting down the curtains during festive season or other manly work that u can do around the house. he is SO UTTERLY PAMPERED!! juz get married a.s.a.p and get the freaking hell outta this house!
good riddance.
(pls note. i still love my mom no matter wat n i think she is the greatest thing in the world, beside my father n God.)
the agent who wanted to sell my house brought some ppl to view my house juz now, and since my parents arent home, i hafta like, clean up here n there. the agent said she'll be coming ard at 2pm. n i woke up at 1pm feeling cranky cuz i was awoken by the sound of the friggin' sms alert frm my hp. wat adds to my nerve is state of my brother's room. it is friggin' in a mess n it would take a day to really clean it up. so i juz decided to close the door to his bedroom n tell the agent that someone's sleeping in that room and so they cant view the room.
so, all is over n done with...
n den, my momma came home frm work.. and she asks me if the agents came ard yet. i said yes.. n den she went to check my brother's room n said
Mom: Y is his door closed? is he at home?
Me: No, he's not in
Mom: Den y izzit close?
Me: Bcuz his room is like a shipwreck! n i got no time to clean it juz now.
Mom: I should have knew it. u are such a lazy daughter. with no integrity, u told me dat u wanna clean up the house. n u never keep up to ur promise!
Me: But mom, he's 26!!! n getting married soon. its about time dat he start doing this kinda things on his OWN.
(and so the argument continues with voices raising and finger pointing)
i swear i sometime thinks dat my mom favours my brother more. he IS after all the only son in this family. so he's sorta precious. BUT STILL?! he have never did a single housework in this house. not even to help in putting up or putting down the curtains during festive season or other manly work that u can do around the house. he is SO UTTERLY PAMPERED!! juz get married a.s.a.p and get the freaking hell outta this house!
good riddance.
(pls note. i still love my mom no matter wat n i think she is the greatest thing in the world, beside my father n God.)
Saturday, December 11, 2004
raya pix
my computer's ok now, so i thought i'd do wat was due..
the pix i promised.
dat is ida n ryan. pretty aint she??
anyways, notice how ryan hates to smile?
_)_
the gals at my room.
my brother's engagement cake frm the girl's side.
the cake dat i didnt get to taste. too bz at the kitchen.
btw ppl, try telling me something dat i dun already know.. dun leave abusive comments on my taggie. u know dat i can juz delete it rite? *shakes head left to right*
btw, thanks to those who tagged, both with good intentions or bad.
the pix i promised.
dat is ida n ryan. pretty aint she??
anyways, notice how ryan hates to smile?
_)_
the gals at my room.
my brother's engagement cake frm the girl's side.
the cake dat i didnt get to taste. too bz at the kitchen.
btw ppl, try telling me something dat i dun already know.. dun leave abusive comments on my taggie. u know dat i can juz delete it rite? *shakes head left to right*
btw, thanks to those who tagged, both with good intentions or bad.
Friday, December 10, 2004
torn
im torn, should i go to hiphopfest tmr?
Wednesday, December 08, 2004
breaking up
saying goodbye, is always so hard. very hard. i guess we're destined to be separated.
if u were thinking who is the one who initiated this, its me.
old bloody me.
am i happy now?
i dunno.
breaking up is sucky.
if u were thinking who is the one who initiated this, its me.
old bloody me.
am i happy now?
i dunno.
breaking up is sucky.
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
im not sure
constantly getting hurt by my own desires n needs
it is only right for me to blame myself for everything that has taken place in the history of my life. lying to myself that he is THE one, the soulmate, isn't going to make the situation any better. being naive ignorant does not solve the confusion.
am i willing to commit myself to a lifelong slavery? i asked myself.
different ppl view marriages in different angles. and that is the only irridiculous angle that i can look at right now.
being only 16 is too early for me to commit myself, make plans, stick to the plan n execute the plan. being 16 is all about making a history in my life. a history of my adolescent that i can brag or cherish abt. i don't want to be 30 and feeling sorry for myself in being a pathetic teenager who wasted her teenage life commiting to only 1 guy throughout her adolescent and never did any exciting stuffs like other kids should have. i don't want that to happen. ever.
i dont want to grow old n die in regret.
only 16, it is very hard to say if this will last. if this is gonna be 'bytes infinitum'. i cannot afford to give my word for something that i, myself is not even sure of. what more, i still find it hard to believe n soak up the fact that i can only date n have sex with only 1(one, ONE, o.n.e, O.N.E, ONE!) man for the rest of my life. to wake up n find him snuggling next to me. to be awoken at the crack of the dawn by his soft snorings or loud snorings. who knows?
which brings me back to my earlier statement. i am not sure. i am not sure if you are the one whom i wanna iron clothes n cook for. i am not sure if you are the object of my obsession at workplace and my source of anxiety each day when work ends knowing dat i'll be home welcomed in your warm arms. i am not sure that im willing to change my name to yours. im not sure if you are capable of fathering my offsprings. im not sure if we would have sweet bickerings on who left the toothpaste uncapped. im not sure if i wanna share this intimate details.
im not sure.. im still not sure...
it is only right for me to blame myself for everything that has taken place in the history of my life. lying to myself that he is THE one, the soulmate, isn't going to make the situation any better. being naive ignorant does not solve the confusion.
am i willing to commit myself to a lifelong slavery? i asked myself.
different ppl view marriages in different angles. and that is the only irridiculous angle that i can look at right now.
being only 16 is too early for me to commit myself, make plans, stick to the plan n execute the plan. being 16 is all about making a history in my life. a history of my adolescent that i can brag or cherish abt. i don't want to be 30 and feeling sorry for myself in being a pathetic teenager who wasted her teenage life commiting to only 1 guy throughout her adolescent and never did any exciting stuffs like other kids should have. i don't want that to happen. ever.
i dont want to grow old n die in regret.
only 16, it is very hard to say if this will last. if this is gonna be 'bytes infinitum'. i cannot afford to give my word for something that i, myself is not even sure of. what more, i still find it hard to believe n soak up the fact that i can only date n have sex with only 1(one, ONE, o.n.e, O.N.E, ONE!) man for the rest of my life. to wake up n find him snuggling next to me. to be awoken at the crack of the dawn by his soft snorings or loud snorings. who knows?
which brings me back to my earlier statement. i am not sure. i am not sure if you are the one whom i wanna iron clothes n cook for. i am not sure if you are the object of my obsession at workplace and my source of anxiety each day when work ends knowing dat i'll be home welcomed in your warm arms. i am not sure that im willing to change my name to yours. im not sure if you are capable of fathering my offsprings. im not sure if we would have sweet bickerings on who left the toothpaste uncapped. im not sure if i wanna share this intimate details.
im not sure.. im still not sure...
Sunday, December 05, 2004
My brother's engagement day
ur at the right site. i juz changed the template to this in hope that in won't bore me so much.
today's my brother's engagement day. been so busy.. was held over at my sis's place. i was like, so shy, so many ppl dat i hv not met for so long, suddenly there.
oh if u ppl r wondering abt my crush on 'him'. Its over n done with. haha. told ya its juz something silly. i realize dat i should cherish wat i hv now. n dat makes my dear n loving boyfriend. who hv braved through all my PMSes and all my childish tantrums. given any other guy, i would have been dumped str8 away.
im so anxious for 17 dec.
1. My n'level results will be out. i know im going ite. but hw can i tell my mom dat? haiz..
2.It is my 1 yr 1 mth anniversary. Hw am i to celebrate when i'll wallow in misery, disappointment n sadness?
3. Taufik's first album will be released on dat day... OoOohh.. but will i even have the mood to go to the local cd stores n grab his album when its bcuz of his distraction, dat made me distracted frm my studies. thus the results. but cant blame him, its all my fault. HE DONT EVEN KNOW THAT HE'S OH-SO-SEXY N IS A VERY DISTRACTING DISTRACTION TO EVERY OTHER GIRLS WHO'S TAKING THEIR MAJOR EXAM. INSTEAD OF STUDYING WE RATHER SEE U PERFORM. INSTEAD OF REVISING N MEMORISING, WE RATHER MOVE OUR THUMBS AROUND OUR HP KEYPADS TO VOTE FOR YOU. LOOK WHAT U'VE DONE.
today's my brother's engagement day. been so busy.. was held over at my sis's place. i was like, so shy, so many ppl dat i hv not met for so long, suddenly there.
oh if u ppl r wondering abt my crush on 'him'. Its over n done with. haha. told ya its juz something silly. i realize dat i should cherish wat i hv now. n dat makes my dear n loving boyfriend. who hv braved through all my PMSes and all my childish tantrums. given any other guy, i would have been dumped str8 away.
im so anxious for 17 dec.
1. My n'level results will be out. i know im going ite. but hw can i tell my mom dat? haiz..
2.It is my 1 yr 1 mth anniversary. Hw am i to celebrate when i'll wallow in misery, disappointment n sadness?
3. Taufik's first album will be released on dat day... OoOohh.. but will i even have the mood to go to the local cd stores n grab his album when its bcuz of his distraction, dat made me distracted frm my studies. thus the results. but cant blame him, its all my fault. HE DONT EVEN KNOW THAT HE'S OH-SO-SEXY N IS A VERY DISTRACTING DISTRACTION TO EVERY OTHER GIRLS WHO'S TAKING THEIR MAJOR EXAM. INSTEAD OF STUDYING WE RATHER SEE U PERFORM. INSTEAD OF REVISING N MEMORISING, WE RATHER MOVE OUR THUMBS AROUND OUR HP KEYPADS TO VOTE FOR YOU. LOOK WHAT U'VE DONE.
Friday, December 03, 2004
???
im like 'wat the...??'
ok so now i know res cannot take jOke.
clearly she shud know i m the playful sort of person. i was juz kidding abt the being 'mad' thingy. but then again she already said "how am i suppose to read ur body language over the net" or sumthink like dat.
she made me sound like as if im petty. wat the..?
res if ur reading this. im sorry.
aku skrg tau kau takleh angkat jOke nye orang.. aku gurau je,
but fret not, aku takkan buat lagi.
never. ever. again.
ok so now i know res cannot take jOke.
clearly she shud know i m the playful sort of person. i was juz kidding abt the being 'mad' thingy. but then again she already said "how am i suppose to read ur body language over the net" or sumthink like dat.
she made me sound like as if im petty. wat the..?
res if ur reading this. im sorry.
aku skrg tau kau takleh angkat jOke nye orang.. aku gurau je,
but fret not, aku takkan buat lagi.
never. ever. again.
Thursday, December 02, 2004
Taufik.The 1st Singapore Idol
Arrrghhh.. When Gurmit was about to announce the name of the winner, i am like praying to God "Bismillahirahmanirrahim.. pls let it be him. pls let be him." n den, it really did! IT IS HIM. TAUFIK IS THE WINNER~ Yeay! he deserve it seh. he have gone through lotsa hardships to achieve what he had today.
sly? well lets juz say he deserve his title as 2nd. The best man won. n sly wasnt good enough.
I really like the part when taufik sang 'The Reason Is You-Hoobastank'. Lame song, yeah. but its the way he sang it. *sigh* he can sing a tamil song for God's sake! n i will still say its nice.
when he won. he said to the camera, "sayang mak!"
wow. if any guys cud be a better man den taufik, pls let urself known.
hahaha. but i afraid not. i think. everyone is diff.
i juz hope the title dat he got today. the experience of being an overnight celebrity, wont change him. i hope he wont be stuck up like the rest of the artistes in singapore who, if u ask me, are not dat good at all. i hope he remains the way he is, humble n friendly.
sly? well lets juz say he deserve his title as 2nd. The best man won. n sly wasnt good enough.
I really like the part when taufik sang 'The Reason Is You-Hoobastank'. Lame song, yeah. but its the way he sang it. *sigh* he can sing a tamil song for God's sake! n i will still say its nice.
when he won. he said to the camera, "sayang mak!"
wow. if any guys cud be a better man den taufik, pls let urself known.
hahaha. but i afraid not. i think. everyone is diff.
i juz hope the title dat he got today. the experience of being an overnight celebrity, wont change him. i hope he wont be stuck up like the rest of the artistes in singapore who, if u ask me, are not dat good at all. i hope he remains the way he is, humble n friendly.