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Friday, November 12, 2004
To err is human, to forgive divine
sleepless in jurong. i realize that there's lots of stars whenever it is nearing syawal.back in 2000, i was leaning on the parapet at my balcony at ol nanna's kampong house and i saw different patterns of stars. some were bright and huge and blinking rapidly, while others are distant. i remember seeing a very peculiar shaped, line of stars. and tonight, i saw it again. the same peculiar line of stars. 3 stars, bright and huge in a diagonal line. maybe that star belongs to me? i've heard of ppl adopting stars and naming it after someone they love. maybe they're mine.. maybe they're mine....
i dunno why i'm submitting a melancholic and metaphoric entry. i guess its just that same sappy feeling of lost of the ones u love, u feel everytime its nearing hari raya. i have to accept that every one that lives must die. i have to accept that 1 day, some day, someday far away from now, i am also going to celebrate syawal without my loved ones. accepting that is as hard as staring at the sun with my eyes, bare, wide and open. sometimes im afraid to love somebody so much as im afraid i will break down and lose myself when i lost that somebody. but how could you not love the group of ppl that you were born into? it hurts me to know, and to accept the fact that the ppl i love ard me now will one day die. leaving me. cold, lonely and confused.
take a minute. and pause after reading this. close your eyes and let your mind wonder to flashes of still images to the happy faces to of all your loved ones. the parents who gave you life and who would take a bullet for you, the siblings who will never say 'i love you' even though they mean to. the grandparents who is slowly wilting physically n mentally but brightens up upon seeing your cheerfulness and hearing your laughters.
cherish them while they're still around. do not take them for granted. do not wait till its too late. i know everyone has different temperaments. but learn to keep it low. keep it cool. its no use getting all worked up and angry. this is all satan's play. channel your anger to something else, and forgive and forget. life is too short to stay mad at anybody.
apologize if you have to. do not wait till you have to say so to the grave. it'll all be too late.
i dunno why i'm submitting a melancholic and metaphoric entry. i guess its just that same sappy feeling of lost of the ones u love, u feel everytime its nearing hari raya. i have to accept that every one that lives must die. i have to accept that 1 day, some day, someday far away from now, i am also going to celebrate syawal without my loved ones. accepting that is as hard as staring at the sun with my eyes, bare, wide and open. sometimes im afraid to love somebody so much as im afraid i will break down and lose myself when i lost that somebody. but how could you not love the group of ppl that you were born into? it hurts me to know, and to accept the fact that the ppl i love ard me now will one day die. leaving me. cold, lonely and confused.
take a minute. and pause after reading this. close your eyes and let your mind wonder to flashes of still images to the happy faces to of all your loved ones. the parents who gave you life and who would take a bullet for you, the siblings who will never say 'i love you' even though they mean to. the grandparents who is slowly wilting physically n mentally but brightens up upon seeing your cheerfulness and hearing your laughters.
cherish them while they're still around. do not take them for granted. do not wait till its too late. i know everyone has different temperaments. but learn to keep it low. keep it cool. its no use getting all worked up and angry. this is all satan's play. channel your anger to something else, and forgive and forget. life is too short to stay mad at anybody.
apologize if you have to. do not wait till you have to say so to the grave. it'll all be too late.