Scared

I've not been sleeping like normal nowadays.. Im so scared of sleeping alone in my bedroom dat i purposely stayed awake all night infront of the computer (its in the living room btw,) waiting for my mom to wake up for sahur and cook so i have company and i feel secure dat im not alone.. den after everyone ate their share of sahur, i will kill some more time watching tv in the living room or in front of this muthafriggin' comp. and waits till its almost dawn den i proceed inside my room and sleep. but not before im tucked tightly under my comforters all the way to my chin.

Call me scaredy cat or watever. But im juz scared.. I dunno what of exactly but, i got a feeling dis feelings started since i watched 'Art Of The Devil'. When i shower.. I tend not to close my eyes for too long when i shampoo or watever.. Im juz paranoid.. I think i need medical help. Every now and den i will get scared for the slightest awkward noise in the house or footsteps outside the house.. Ok. Having written that in words. It made me sound like a stupid,paranoid, scaredy cat 10-yr-old. But i cant help it. I dunno for how much longer can i take this..

It doesn't help that my father and i is kinda having a silent war. He aint talking to me cuz i got home late yesternite frm Geylang. I mean, its Saturday. Its holiday. N im young. Its only normal.. But then again, dis is my father im talking abt. Of coz he wud be mad dat i stayed out late. Too late then the agreed time, which is 9 or 10. But sumtimes, i juz have to make an exception rite? If not they'll be too used to me being home early or on the dot and when i suddenly i really am late, they'll get REALLY mad and ground me watsoever. Not that my parents ever used that kinda rules ard this house (Thank God!).

Anyway, i've been sleeping in my mOm's room for the past weeks and my dad sleeps in my room. its sorta like, switching places. cuz im scared of my bedroom. u won't believe how wild my imagination can get there.. Den since my father is having this silent war wif me, he slept in my mom's room when i came back frm Geylang, and i am left with no choice but to sleep in my own room. again. which brings us to today......

Its 4.05am in the morning now and i haven't slept a wink. Have been online since 11pm and im waiting for my parents to wake up for sahur..

To the mysterious tagger who tagged at my blog, i juz wanna say. watever, u words wun bring me down. but lets forget abt the whole thing here shall we? im sick and tired of making enemies..

Speaking of enemies, i am still contemplating on whether or not i shall go for the gathering of my PEPS mates this tuesday. Of coz, the wise thing to do would be, making myself scarce on that day, but it doesnt seem to 'akidah' to do dat. But this is SUHAIMI im talking abt. He made half of my primary sch life a painful and miserable experiences. Of coz, the other half is great with all the sweet memories and laughters and everything. But then again, dis is the person that i've sworn to hate all my life. My nemesis. Oh GOD! I thought i would never bump into him in any sort of way again. N den, dere was liza. Who discovered suhaimi, in wat ways i dunno. Thru friendster. DAMN FRIENDSTER! I mean, I LOVE FRIENDSTER and all.. But in this situation, i must repeat, DAMN FRIENDSTER!



So shud i go? Nahhh..

I dun think i wanna be telling u abt my trip to Bazaar Geylang.. Hahhahaa.. NoPe!
Anyway, if ya'll got the time and the dough, look out for this vcd and watch it. I certainly enjoyed it! Soooo romantic.. Its in indonesian though.. But fret not, malay subtitles are provided! Its called "Eiffel.... Im In Love"

Monday, October 25, 2004 ·